Social Distancing is NOT Emotional Distancing ; Emotional Healing is the Need of the Day

Social Distancing is the norm of the day. Ever since the declaration of COVID 19 as a pandemic, social distancing became a requirement and even a law at certain places. Most of us know that the actual meaning of the so-called social distancing is physical distancing. Physical distancing is a requirement to safeguard ourselves, our loved ones and others from getting infected with this virus on the prowl.

During the early stages of the pandemic, the scare was so high that social distancing, many times morphed into social isolation. There are cases of neighbors “spying and reporting” on suspicious visitors to some homes. People in self-quarantine were looked upon with a lot of suspicion and fear. And it became actually a stigma for those who tested positive (and their families).  Pictures of the so called “migrant workers” walking thousands of Kilometers to reach back to their homes became a talking point in global media. Stories of patients being refused treatment in hospitals started flooding the media. Even dead bodies were not given the respect due to them. An unrelated incident in the US triggered strong racial tensions in the United States of America. I am sure I am not alone in having wondered sometimes, “Where is Humanity headed?”

But then there were several silver linings among the ominous clouds. Several COVID heroes emerged. Thousands of people and organisations came up to augment the efforts of the government agencies in managing the “migrant worker’s” sufferings. The #BLM movement touched the conscience of Millions. This was a social movement across the globe.

These two sides of the coin proved one thing to me. There are some who mistook Social Distancing to be Emotional Distancing, and there are others who took Social Distancing to be a time to actually practice the Servant Leadership behaviour of “Emotional Healing”.

I have chosen to write about Emotional Healing, because I believe it is the need of the hour for the world, and business in particular. Emotional Healing is one of the DEEP BHC Behaviours  that mark out a Servant Leader from Traditional Leaders. This is the behaviour that makes Servant Leaders heal themselves and their relationship with others. My earlier blog on Four Habits  dwelt on some attributes that help develop the Emotional Healing Behaviour.

True demonstration of Emotional Healing can happen only with a deep understanding of the concept of Grace. Several of us link Grace only with spirituality and faith and divine things. But practicing Grace is essential in today’s world, and it is possible for mere human beings. Only Grace can heal the world of the deep wounds that it is suffering from.

So what does Grace mean in our day-to-day lives?

Let us begin by looking at Justice. All of us understand Justice well. We build human society on the concept of Justice. Justice, simply put, is “When You Get What You Deserve”. You do something good, you get a proportionate reward, you do something bad, you get a proportionate punishment. All of us crave for justice. All of us raise our voices when injustice is done. This is an easily understood concept.

Higher than the concept of Justice is the concept and practice of Mercy. When someone who deserved a punishment is sentenced to get that punishment, all that he/she can do is to plead for Mercy. All judicial systems make allowance for mercy pleas, executive heads can grant that. Mercy, in other words, is “When You are Spared of a Punishment that You Deserve”.

So is there something higher than the concept of Mercy? This is where Grace comes in. Grace goes way above and beyond Justice and Mercy. Grace happens when we are not only spared of the punishment that we deserved , but we get a reward that we did not deserve. Grace is “Unmerited Benefit”. Sounds illogical? I agree, Grace is beyond logic. That is why we call it divine. Grace could even be termed as unfair. Yes, at first glance it might appear illogical and unfair. In an emotionally charged world, logic alone is not enough to heal the wounds that are inflicted upon us every day. We need Grace. Justice is required, and is not enough to heal the hurt that is caused due to incidents like George Floyd , or Nirbhaya  or  Pehlu Khan . We need Grace. Only Grace can heal the deep wounds caused by society’s ills.

So is there a role for Grace in Business Leadership? Yes, next time when you are tempted to ask, “Does he/she really deserves that”, think about an alternative. Even if that employee does not deserve my time, I will make time for him/her. Even when a team member did not “earn” the right to be developed, I will invest in the development of the team member. Even if the employee has failed in the past, I will give him/her a second chance and entrust a recent project to him/her. Try it out. It will do a world of difference to your organisation’s culture.

You may have one question though. Will people not misuse the concept of Grace? The answer is yes, there is a risk that someone might. History shows that every good deed of humanity has been misused by a small percentage of people. The question we need to ask is, should we hold back because a few people might misuse it (the command-and-control leadership), or should we dispense it because several will enjoy it (Servant Leadership)?

So don’t let Social Distancing stop you from Emotionally Healing yourselves and your relationship with others, be it at home, in your neighbourhood or at work. Come practice the behaviour of Emotional Healing and join the Servant Leadership Movement.

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Dr. Madana Kumar is the Chief Consultant and Servant Leadership Evangelist at Leadyne. You can contact him here.